An Answer With Room for “Yet”
Honestly,
If I ask someone a question and they don’t know, I tell them I’ll circle back when I find out. Then we’ll both know.
There is a moment after a question when the room seems to expect an answer simply because the silence has become uncomfortable.
An answer of any kind starts looking attractive.
An awkward silence is not a reason to promote a guess.
I understand the pull to sound certain. We want to be helpful. We want people to feel they came to the right person. If we have experience, we may feel especially responsible for producing something promptly and without visible assembly.
But experience also includes recognizing when a question has outrun the available information.
“I don’t know yet” can be a useful sentence. The word “yet” leaves the door open, as long as we follow up.
There is a difference between an honest pause and setting a question down somewhere it will never be seen again.
I appreciate knowing what happens after the pause. Is someone checking? Is there a person better placed to answer? Are we waiting for a decision that has not been made?
We may not have the answer, but we know what is happening next.
I do not need every person to know everything. I would like to trust the difference between what they know, what they think, and what they are still trying to understand.
That trust makes a confident answer more meaningful when it does arrive.
Some questions are simple. Others turn out to have another question tucked inside them, wearing a very convincing disguise.
We can let those take a little time.
The silence does not have to be filled with a guess just because the guess is willing to speak first.
Reflections
- What do you do when someone asks a question you can’t answer yet?
- When you find the answer, who else could benefit from knowing it?
- Is there a question you meant to circle back on that is still waiting?
Toolbox: Close the loop
- Name what you know—and what you still need to find out. Try: “I don’t know yet. Let me check.”
- Give the question a place to live. Write down the question, who needs the answer, and when you’ll check back. “I’ll remember” is a charming plan. A note has a better attendance record.
- Follow up when you said you would. If you’re still checking, say so and give a realistic update.
- Share what you learned. If someone helped you look but didn’t have the answer either, circle back with them, too. Then you’ll both know.
- Check that you’re answering the right question. Before you go looking, ask what the person needs to understand or decide. You may save both of you a very thorough answer to something they didn’t ask.
I’ll circle back. Then we’ll both know.
