What Can HR Learn From a Kindergarten Teacher?
The one about grown-ups who sometimes need kindergarten rules.
Honestly,
You know who I think could run a difficult employee relations meeting?
A kindergarten teacher.
Think about it.
Every morning, a kindergarten teacher walks into a room full of people with different personalities, different abilities, different levels of emotional regulation, and wildly different opinions about whose turn it is.
And somehow, by the end of the day, most of them have learned something.
Meanwhile, in corporate America, we can spend six weeks scheduling a meeting to discuss why two adults cannot get along.
Kindergarten teachers understand something that organizations routinely forget.
Just because someone knows the rules doesn't mean they have the skills to follow them consistently.
They teach expectations. They demonstrate behavior. They repeat instructions. They recognize effort. They intervene before a small disagreement becomes a full-blown crisis over a purple crayon.
And when a student struggles, a good teacher gets curious.
Does this child understand the expectation? Do they have the skills? Is something in their environment making success harder?
Imagine if we asked those questions before labeling an employee difficult.
Of course, adults are responsible for their behavior. And workplaces aren't kindergarten classrooms.
But perhaps we'd be better at managing adults if we remembered that learning, belonging, and emotional regulation don't magically become effortless at age eighteen.
What HR can learn: Clear expectations matter. So does teaching people how to meet them.
Reflections
- Where have we explained a rule without showing what it looks like?
- When someone struggles, do we get curious before we get frustrated?
- What would help the person succeed while keeping the expectation clear?
Toolbox
- Name the behavior: ‘In this meeting, let’s let each person finish before responding.’
- Show an example of the work or conversation you mean; ‘be professional’ leaves a lot to interpretation.
- Ask: ‘What part is clear, and what part do we need to walk through?’
- Separate support from accountability: ‘I can help you prepare. You’re still responsible for how you respond.’
- Notice a specific improvement while it is happening: ‘You paused and asked a question instead of assuming. That helped.’
And maybe, just maybe, we should bring back snack time.
What can HR learn from your job?
What does your profession know that HR should learn? Tell me the job—and the thing the rest of us might be missing.
You don’t need to be interviewed or write an essay. A few sentences are plenty.
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