Honestly, most of us have worked with that coworker.
And before we get too comfortable pointing fingers, there is a decent chance we have also been that coworker.
The person who hits Reply All when absolutely no one needed the reply.
The person who schedules a meeting that could have been an email.
The person who says, “Quick question,” and forty-five minutes later you’re somehow looking at a spreadsheet together.
The person who microwaves fish in the break room.
You know.
That coworker.
Workplace etiquette rarely makes it into the employee handbook. There probably isn’t a policy prohibiting you from clipping your fingernails at your desk.
There shouldn't need to be.
And yet.
So, in the interest of making work slightly more pleasant for everyone, here is my unofficial guide to not being that coworker.
1. Respect the headphones.
Headphones are the modern office version of a closed door.
If someone is wearing them, consider whether your question actually requires interrupting them.
If it does, get their attention.
If it doesn't, send the message.
And if you walk over, start talking, and they dramatically remove both headphones while staring at you?
You may already be that coworker.
2. “Quick question” is rarely quick.
Sometimes it really is.
But if your quick question requires background, screen sharing, three follow-up questions and the phrase “while I have you…”
It was a meeting.
Respect people's time enough to tell them what you're actually asking for.
3. Reply All is a privilege.
Before hitting it, ask yourself:
Does everyone on this email need my response?
If the answer is no, step away from the button.
This is especially important when someone sends an announcement to 200 people.
We are all delighted that you also wish Janet well in retirement.
Janet can receive that information directly.
4. Your speakerphone is not our speakerphone.
If you work around other humans, they did not automatically consent to joining your phone call.
The same applies to videos playing without headphones, notification sounds at full volume and the meeting you joined from your desk while everyone else within twenty feet involuntarily joined with you.
5. Clean up after yourself.
The office refrigerator is not a long-term food storage facility.
Your coffee cup does not become communal property because you left it in the sink.
And if something you brought into the refrigerator has developed its own ecosystem, it is time to say goodbye.
6. Don't make everyone participate in your urgency.
Sometimes things really are urgent.
Sometimes we waited until the last possible minute and accidentally turned our poor planning into someone else's emergency.
There is a difference.
Before sending the third message marked URGENT, ask yourself which one this is.
7. Meetings should have a reason to exist.
If you're inviting people to a meeting, they should know why they're there.
What are we discussing?
What needs to be decided?
Why does this particular person need to attend?
If nobody knows, congratulations.
You've created a hostage situation with a calendar invitation.
8. Read the room.
This might be the most important one.
Pay attention.
Is someone clearly trying to finish something?
Is the meeting running ten minutes over?
Has the conversation ended but you keep restarting it?
Did everyone suddenly become fascinated by their laptops?
Workplace etiquette isn't really about memorizing rules.
It's about noticing other people.
Their time.
Their space.
Their workload.
Their concentration.
Their boundaries.
And occasionally their desire to eat lunch without discussing the quarterly numbers.
Reflection
We can usually identify that coworker pretty quickly.
The harder question is:
What do I do that might make someone else quietly think the same thing about me?
We all have something.
The goal isn't perfect office etiquette.
It's enough self-awareness to notice our impact on the people around us—and enough humility to adjust when necessary.
From the Toolbox: The That-Coworker Check
Before you interrupt, send, schedule, escalate or hit Reply All, ask yourself:
Does everyone need this?
Does everyone need this right now?
Am I respecting someone else's time and attention?
Could I accomplish this in a less disruptive way?
And perhaps most importantly:
Would this annoy me if someone else did it?
If the answer to that last one is yes, there's your clue.
Most office etiquette comes down to one simple rule:
Read the room.
And if the room smells like reheated salmon, find another room.
